


Wildfire

by vaarsuvius



Category: Densetsu no Yuusha no Densetsu | The Legend of the Legendary Heroes
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-08
Updated: 2013-01-08
Packaged: 2017-11-24 03:50:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/630067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vaarsuvius/pseuds/vaarsuvius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I have lived in these cold shadows my entire life and it is my hand that knocks over the candle and starts the fire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wildfire

**Author's Note:**

> There are vague implications of things that took place during Miran's past, so a mild warning for mentions of child sexual abuse.

You hold me to you.

You draw me to you like a candle flame in the window draws a questioning insect in the deepest hour of night. You draw me with your warmth and even through the cold glass panes you shed your light on me and I am shaken by the foreign glow that lights my body all the way to the inside.

Inside your home there is no place for me but I carve one out for myself outside your window where I take a secret pleasure from bathing in your light, like stealing glances at some beautiful, forbidden thing. And you are beautiful. When I am out here I can call you beautiful and you will not hear me. You are one lone candle flickering in the dark but the circle of wavering light that you cast is my whole world.

I am greedy and I want to see more of you. I want to see you light up the earth. I want you to shine so brightly as to make even the stars jealous. I want everyone to see you and shiver in awe at your glory, I want to share you with the whole world yet I want to keep you all to myself. They call this love in some places but I do not know it yet. You set me alight and this is more than I can understand. All I have known of love is a searing aching cold, thin ‘I love you’s blown in on an icy wind that freezes my face to a mask and freezes my heart to a heavy stone that rattles uncomfortably in my chest when I walk.

I have lived in these cold shadows my entire life and it is my hand that knocks over the candle and starts the fire. You burn out of control, the flames that engulf the house scorch my face and I bask in the searing heat of you unleashed. You are a god and you are the sun and now I am the only one who will look straight at you without fear so you turn to me and swallow me whole. I sing your praises in the spaces between my words.

I know you are a god and far beyond my human comprehension but I test you anyway, my belief is unshakable but even the most devout must sometimes chip away at the pedestal of their gods when they are unsure. I pull the supports out from under you one by one until you are practically leaning solely on me and I revel in the crushing weight of your desperation as you trap me beneath your trembling hands.

I feel safe in your light because it is so very, horribly bright. It washes out the colors of everything around you so when you look at me you cannot see the red on my hands and when you strip me bare you are blind to the bruises that sit sickly beneath my skin where I have not been able to wash off all the traces of where I have been disgraced. I am so close to you that you cannot see me at all and so I feel safe enough to gasp when you touch me with your hands like coals and when you fit yourself to me with your body achingly soft and pink and look through me with your hollow eyes I cry out.

Part of me still fears every day wondering when you will let go of me and push me back into the night, the part of me that is still the frostbitten moth beating against the windowpanes. I am taking pieces of myself off for you and losing more and more with each passing day and still you hold me tight enough to crush the breath from me and the creaking of my fragile bones is a joyful cry. I turn myself into a weapon fitted only for you and just to be held in your hands is enough to drive all doubt from my mind as I sweep the cobwebs out of your attic and light a match beneath the bee's nest.

As you illuminated the windowsill, as you poured out your light over the house as you tore it down, so too do you burn the darkness out of me, you burn through my insides down to the ends of my every vein until I am filled with nothing but light and I can believe for that moment that I am like you and that I belong in this warm, terrifying place. I will fill myself to the brim with blood and atrocity just to feel you burn it out of me with a word, I will freeze myself colder than winter and hold my breath with the hope that you will still be able to melt me back into a man when you rise again in the morning.


End file.
